CreativeMessWhen my family and I relocated from Oahu we left a lot of things behind. We didn’t have the military anymore and we didn’t have friends to help like we used to. We said goodbye to all the joyful memories and carried our pain, luggage and my son’s ashes with us. We dried our eyes as we landed in NC and began figuring out what “new normal” actually meant.
I looked up, months had passed and we had survived 1 year and our first Christmas without him. I realized shortly after New Year’s day that I couldn’t keep still. Being at home everyday, all day was reinforcing every bad thought and hurtful memory.
I spent a month or so debating on what I should do. Should I work? Can i handle a job? Who would hire me? Where do I apply? I had these same thoughts before I started working again almost 5 years ago. I was back at square one with minimal credentials, minimal experience and a sizable amount of debt.
I found a company that I looked into and fell I love with their work culture, at least on paper. So I applied. When you’ve lost something as special as I have, you realize you’ve got nothing to lose by trying. So I applied. I had to make a cover letter, which I had never done. The hardest part about cover letters is being yourself without being too much.
Around the time I applied for my job I decided to take an old friend’s advice. I signed up and started aerial arts courses. I had thoughts of gymnastics and ballet as a kid but never spoke up. So this closed mouth, didn’t get fed. This was a chance for me to try something that I thought was a “grown up” version of those things.
After my first week or so of circus arts, I got an email inviting me to an interview for the job. I was excited because it meant they liked my cover letter and my resume. That’s a BIG deal to me. My resume as a professional in any capacity is weak to say the least. I dropped out of college, I couldn’t keep myself focused enough. I had a special needs child and a deployed husband majority of the time I tried to be an academic. I’ve got a ton of credits, from several institutions but no paper. Which in turn means, I’m kinda worthless, or so I thought.
In my interview I was asked about my greatest accomplishment. How I didn’t start sobbing in front of my now coworkers is beyond me. I explained the journey autism took me on.
My son was non verbal for most of the first 3 years of life. Through song, we conquered it. Potty training was a beast but we did that too. Younger sibling, a baby? All while having daddy being active duty, we did the damn thing. Then they asked me what brought me to North Carolina. I was honest and managed to refrain from tears.
I left the interview unsure but I didn’t care nearly as much as I thought that I would. I knew if not now, at some point I’d work again. A few days later I got communication that I got the job, to my surprise.
Reflecting on the last 10 plus years of my life, I’m a professional at starting anew. I was a new wife and mom at 21. Moved every 3 to 4 years being military affiliated. New schools, new jobs, new friends, every so often I had to start all over. My advice to anyone forcefully starting over, “Time moves whether we do or not. Waste little, give some and enjoy as much as possible.”